From heading to South Africa to support England’s World Cup bid to standing up for bankers during the recent financial crisis, Boris’ work is always varied.  This week, the Mayor had to deal with the prospect of a Tube strike amongst other pressing matters, although he did find the time to unveil the first ever sign in the Essex village of Havering-atte-Bower.

Members of the Conservation Society raised part of the money for the sign and the village received additional funding from a company called Grass Roots. Nicky Gates from the society said: “We decided one of the things we wanted was a village sign because lots of villages in Essex have them, and we didn’t.”

The job of unveiling the sign, designed to reflect the 1,000 year history of the village, went to Boris. “I think the people who live in the village are very, very lucky,” said the Mayor. “They have a fantastic village atmosphere, a community atmosphere which has got them together to produce this beautiful sign.

“It really is a handsome work of art,” he added, shortly before having to go back to doing something Much More Important, no doubt.

Described as ‘one of the biggest prizes at October’s City A.M. awards’, the Personality of the Year nominees have, according to City A.M., ‘showed their mettle over the past 12 months’.

The paper has this to say about Bozza’s nomination:

“Goodness knows, the City has needed a cheerleader in the corridors of power over the past couple of years. And just when he was called for, there he was – mop of blond hair flying, and bicycle shining. When all around him were calling for banker’s heads, Boris Johnson had the gumption to stick up for the capital’s engine-room, calling FSA head Adair Turner’s proposals for punitive taxes on the financial services ‘crackers’. At the start of the year he went to Brussels and spoke passionately against regulation that could have strangled hedge funds and private equity. At Davos, he told the world’s business elite that London’s free-market ethos trumps the Swiss quality of life any day.

“When bankers were public enemy number one, he risked unpopularity among the electorate – and the more populist wing of his own party – to stick up for them. In the face of opposition, he did what he thought was right. Bravo to that.”

Scrapping with the Mayor for the prestigious award are Bob Diamond, President of Barclays Capital; Paul Pindar, CEO of Capita; Willie Walsh, CEO of British Airways and Angela Knight, CEO of the British Bankers’ Association.

City A.M. say, “All five have shown nerve and toughness, and have contributed to keeping the City as the world’s financial centre. Long may they continue to do so.”

[Are you sure you want to go here? - Boriswatch Lawyers]

With just two years to go until the start of the London Paralympic Games, the centre of London was transformed into a giant Boccia court this week as the Mayor challenged Britain’s gold medal Boccia team to a match in Trafalgar Square.

Boccia is a tactical team sport like bowls played by athletes with a severe disability. Britain are the reigning Olympic champions and amongst the favourites for the 2012 title. David Smith, part of the UK team, said, “Boccia is an easy game to play but I have to remind people that my co-ordination is shoddy. I have constant spasms and we do not normally play in a cross wind like today. Despite all of that I am as successful in my sport as Andy Murray is in tennis and I love it.”

Bozza was given a Boccia lesson by the athletes, and eulogised over Trafalgar Square as an official big screen venue for the Paralympics. “I am adamant that as many people as possible experience the feelings of exhilaration and national pride that the Paralympic Games create. With just two years to go the message from London to visitors and Paralympic athletes is loud and clear – let the celebrations commence as the Paralympics truly come home.”

Clearly, that palaver is all over now and so there’s an empty spot in the middle of London desperate for some more artistic nonsense.  And, this week, Boris has unveiled the shortlist for the Trafalgar Square plinth.  It contains a number of suggestions, most of which ‘play on notions of British identity, probing themes of heroism, heritage and conquest.’

*nods sagely*

Two of the shortlist will be commissioned to go on the plinth next year. The shortlist as unveiled by Bozza is a weird mix….

1. A fictional mountainscape which shows the outline of Britain
2. A real ATM that will make organ noises when you withdraw cash (eh? How is that probing themes of British heroism or conquest?)
3. A golden boy on a golden rocking horse
4. A giant Battenburg cake built out of bricks
5. A giant blue cockerel
6. A replica of the equestrian statue of Field Marshal Sir George White

Granted, it’s not what we expected. However it is, honestly, the genuine shortlist. Does the centre of London really need a giant Battenburg…?

Well, now you can!

Open House London – the Capital’s largest architectural showcase – celebrates great design by encouraging buildings that aren’t usually open to the public to open their doors to Londoners completely for free. The idea is that Londoners can have a look inside stunning buildings which they don’t normally get to enjoy.

Bozza commented (as he was frantically dusting his living room), “Open House allows you to get up close and personal with some of the city’s most iconic buildings as well as its hidden gems.”

[Er, I'm not sure you've got this right. I think you will find that buildings such as The Dorchester are opening themselves up to the public. It's not a free for all round at Boris' gaff to poke around his back garden - Boriswatch Ed]

“The Dorchester, a grade II listed building featuring spectacular interior design from the last eight decades, will be providing a private tour behind-the-scenes of the hotel and its award winning restaurants and spa for 20 lucky people.”

Shame. I quite fancied a gander at Boris’ utility room…..

No, Boris hasn’t won the award.  Tut tut.

What has won the 2010 award is that monstrosity over Bozza’s left shoulder.  No, it isn’t a giant Remington electric razor (insert “so good, I bought the building!” gag *here*) but the catchily named Strata SE1 Tower at the Elephant and Castle.

This zebra striped eyesore beat off stiff competition from buildings including the Park Plaza Westminster Hotel to win the award, via Building Design magazine.

Boris seems to quite like the Strata.  He has nicknamed it ‘the lipstick’ (really?) and has described it as a building “with a bit of oomph about it”.

Not everyone agrees, however. Building Design‘s Ellis Woodman says, “The building’s grim stridency is exacerbated by its sporty livery of alternating black and white stripes, configured, needless to say, in voguish barcode distribution.”

He didn’t stop there. Oh no. “For services to greenwash, urban impropriety and sheer breakfast extracting ugliness, we hereby award the 2010 Carbuncle Cup to the Strata tower.”

Breakfast extracting, eh? It’s surely not that bad….?

And, I tell you what, Livingstone is going to fight dirty this time.

Do you know what the former Mayor has only gone and made an issue of to try and score some political points?  A form.

That’s right. A FORM.

I tell you what, “formgate” could blow the whole of London politics wide open.

You see, for any live concert or event at the moment, the police ask for a form to be filled in.  It asks for the musical genre, details of the artist that is playing, security details – that sort of thing.  The police believe that this risk assessment has actually significantly reduced trouble and violence at events, although Ken believes this form is WRONG.

The Mayoral candidate has made it his life’s work to SCRAP THE FORM, saying “Filling in a form never made anyone safe.” (Filling in the form that the police give you to take part in a witness protection programme would, presumably, make you safe, so I’m not sure that Ken is 100% correct there.)

Boris’ people say that there is currently a public consultation taking place surrounding culture in the capital. “As a committed supporter of live music in all its forms, it sets out his efforts to protect the capital’s unrivalled live music scene against unnecessary regulatory policies, as well as practical measures to increase opportunities for people to play and experience music.”

Well, whatever you think of it, it seems like the debate is going to run and run. But, once Ken gets rid of the form, what will be next? A spreadsheet? A planner? Hell – he might even campaign to get rid of a CHECKLIST!

*faints*

A recent survey by the people over at Famecount has therefore tried to find the world’s most social media savvy politicians by looking at the number of their Facebook, YouTube and Twitter followers. You won’t be surprised that the Americans dominate the list with Barack Obama, Al Gore, John McCain and Arnold Schwarzenegger are the top four individual politicians (excluding, for example, the White House or Downing Street’s own pages).

But, I hear you cry, who is the UK’s #1 social media politician? It must be the PM or deputy PM, you may well think. But no! The UK’s top social media politician is our very own Boris (which is just as well, otherwise this piece wouldn’t have worked at all).

Bozza enters the global chart of politicians at number 28 based on his 64,995 Facebook fans and 88,927 Twitter followers. His nearest challenger is old Cleggy at number 39 before you have to drop a fair way down the list to find David WebCameron at number 64 and Labour spin merchant Alistair Campbell at number 65.

Website Beehive City‘s analysis of the figures is:

“It shows that being a ‘character’ with strong outspoken views is something that social networking fans respond to. Boris Johnson, George Galloway, Daniel Hannan and Nigel Farage all punch above their political weight in terms of their Internet followers, with more ’serious’ political figures being left by the wayside.”

Mind you, considering politicians from Venezuela, Chile and Australia appear in the list above Bozza, there is still work to be done by UK politicians to engage people using social media. Boris appears to have the right idea, though…..

(Zing! You see what we did, there? Ahem.)

This is because former Play Away and Playschool TV presenter Floella Benjamin is being lined up by the Liberal Democrats to stand at the next mayoral election. Faced with the prospect of part-time stand-up comic Lembit Opik seeking the nomination, senior Liberal Democrats have moved quickly to find a high profile nominee capable of taking on Boris and either Ken Livingstone or Oona King.

(Quite why the Lib Dems need to put up a candidate against the Tories in an election mid-coalition is anyone’s guess, but there you are.)

Lady Benjamin, 60, is a long-standing Lib-Dem supporter and was recently made a peer. She has not yet confirmed whether she will stand as the third party candidate.

One party source said: “Floella would be a good option for us if she can be persuaded to stand. She is a household name because of her television and acting work so is big enough to take on Boris.”

The party’s 9,500-strong London membership will vote in a ballot this autumn after party conferences.

In 2003, Bozza famously retorted that “‘The Lib Dems are not just empty. They are a void within a vacuum, surrounded by a vast inanition.” And, in the 2010 general Election campaign, he described the now Deputy Prime Minister, Nick Clegg, as “cutprice edition of David Cameron hastily knocked off by a Shanghai sweatshop to satisfy unexpected market demand”.

Now, of course, Boris is having to work alongside the Liberal Democrats as part of the Tory/Liberal coalition, and his opinions may have shifted a little….

“The Lib Dems, our brothers and sisters in coalition, have given themselves meaning, shape and contour by becoming part of this beautiful Government that’s entirely fitting for the times because it’s a great hybrid, like a Toyota Prius.”

Oh, hang on. He didn’t stop there.

“I won’t deny that I have found the Lib Dems extremely irritating. There have been moments when I’ve found them infuriating. There have been times when their two-faced Janus nature has got my goat, but there’s no doubt that they’ve done the right thing in getting into a coalition and Nick Clegg is exactly the right choice for his party and for the country. After all, the country voted for something like this. At the moment it’s working unbelievably well.’