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News - Boriswatch
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“Not Exactly A Job”


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Here at Boriswatch HQ we all have quite a few jobs. Our Legal Advisor has been known to deliver pizza on his moped in his lunch hour while our Head of News arrives in the morning wearing her Lollipop Lady coat. Making ends meet sometimes requires commitment, but how many jobs is ‘too many jobs?’ For example, […]

Late night taxi rides from City Hall to the Commons


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The next step on Boris’ journey to the centre of British politics was taken on Friday as the Mayor of London was duly returned as the new Member of Parliament for the constituency of Uxbridge and South Ruislip. Bozza won the seat comfortably with a majority of 10,705 to return to the House of Commons […]

Boris appeals to Guardian voters to vote Tory


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The persuasiveness of Boris knows no bounds. Boris has been unleashed in the last few weeks at key London districts to swing the vote towards the Tories, and it seems they’ve been lapping it up. “Boris is now a preference to anyone else” that Conservative central office could send to help, including the prime minister, […]

Mayor In A Reasonably Priced Car


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It would be fair to say that Jeremy Clarkson’s ‘sacking’ from the BBC didn’t come as much of a surprise. Clarkson has been sailing quite close to the wind in recent years and the final straw – a ‘fracas’ with a Top Gear producer over the lack of a hot meal – has finally seen […]

Boris’ Jihadi headlines are not the whole story


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Boris has hit the headlines again this morning, commenting on the mindset of the Jihadi threats recently. Boris has an eye for a soundbite, and he’s delivered several to get his article talked about. But if people actually read the article – published cleverly in The Sun, a right-wing often-outspoken tabloid – they’ll find that […]

Mid Air Drama


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You may remember that a few months back, Boris was involved in an astonishing incident aboard a Malaysia Air flight.  The Mayor was forced to step in during a 13 hour flight back to the UK after a fellow passenger in first class became abusive and assaulted a member of staff. Well, the man – […]

The Paddington Trail


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Quite what UKIP would make of Paddington Bear, we’re not sure. A Peruvian immigrant taken in by a London family, the newly orphaned bear  arrived in the UK illegally (he stowed away on a boat) and, as far as we recall, doesn’t work for a living. Presumably the Brown family also claim benefits for him. […]

Boris turns Good Samaritan


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Boris was on a plane this week, as we’re sure he is for many of his weeks. But this time, a drunken passenger was disturbing him. Boris sat next to him, tried to appease him, and then had to make a rapid withdrawal when things to took a turn for the awkward. Here the full […]

Lizards and lycra


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I daresay that there are many people that would scuttle into the undergrowth if the Mayor of London tried to grab their behind. We don’t have any evidence to support this [Please say ‘allegedly’ – Boriswatch Legal Advisor] although there has been one incident of rear-touching-scurrying-action on the latest stage of Boris’ World Tour. The […]