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Chief Boriswatcher, Author at Boriswatch
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“Not Exactly A Job”


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Here at Boriswatch HQ we all have quite a few jobs. Our Legal Advisor has been known to deliver pizza on his moped in his lunch hour while our Head of News arrives in the morning wearing her Lollipop Lady coat. Making ends meet sometimes requires commitment, but how many jobs is ‘too many jobs?’ For example, […]

Late night taxi rides from City Hall to the Commons


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The next step on Boris’ journey to the centre of British politics was taken on Friday as the Mayor of London was duly returned as the new Member of Parliament for the constituency of Uxbridge and South Ruislip. Bozza won the seat comfortably with a majority of 10,705 to return to the House of Commons […]

Mayor In A Reasonably Priced Car


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It would be fair to say that Jeremy Clarkson’s ‘sacking’ from the BBC didn’t come as much of a surprise. Clarkson has been sailing quite close to the wind in recent years and the final straw – a ‘fracas’ with a Top Gear producer over the lack of a hot meal – has finally seen […]

Mid Air Drama


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You may remember that a few months back, Boris was involved in an astonishing incident aboard a Malaysia Air flight.  The Mayor was forced to step in during a 13 hour flight back to the UK after a fellow passenger in first class became abusive and assaulted a member of staff. Well, the man – […]

The Paddington Trail


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Quite what UKIP would make of Paddington Bear, we’re not sure. A Peruvian immigrant taken in by a London family, the newly orphaned bear  arrived in the UK illegally (he stowed away on a boat) and, as far as we recall, doesn’t work for a living. Presumably the Brown family also claim benefits for him. […]

Lizards and lycra


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I daresay that there are many people that would scuttle into the undergrowth if the Mayor of London tried to grab their behind. We don’t have any evidence to support this [Please say ‘allegedly’ – Boriswatch Legal Advisor] although there has been one incident of rear-touching-scurrying-action on the latest stage of Boris’ World Tour. The […]

The Sinking of Boris Island


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Spare a thought for the 10,000 people who live on the remote Pacific island of Tuvalu. The country’s highest point is just 15 metres above sea level and so, as climate change results in rising sea levels, it’s only a matter of time before the beautiful islands disappear without trace. Now, it may only exist […]

Back In Da House


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Let’s be honest: it was the worst kept secret in politics. Finally, Boris has announced that he does plan to stand as an MP in 2015, ending years of speculation as to whether he would return to the House of Commons. Even when the announcement was finally made, the Mayor danced around the issue like […]

Boris: “Tony Blair Has Finally Gone Mad”


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I suppose it would be reasonable to assume that Boris Johnson is no fan of ex-Labour leader Tony Blair. Now, though, Boris has given the ex-Prime Minister both barrels by claiming that Blair ‘needs professional psychiatric help’. In an interview with Sky News, Blair claimed that the current instability in Iraq was caused not by […]