Author Archive for: Chief Boriswatcher

An explanation

30 Aug
August 30, 2017

Dear Boriswatch,

What’s Up with Boriswatch? Has it ceased to be?
I note it is not being kept up to date. (sobs)



Hi Diana,

Firstly, apologies for not replying to this contact for around 8 months. As you can see, I kept it – I planned to reply for all of this time!
That gives you an indication of how full my life has become. When I started Boriswatch, I had a simple job, no relationship and all the time in the world to explore the phenomenon of Boris.
Now, I have a full-time occupation, a fiancee, 2 cats, 1 dog, 3 children and a house that needs a lot of renovation. There’s barely enough time to meet with friends, let alone maintain the sites I was maintaining in their heyday.
Combine that with Boris being “managed” more than before – less (if any) gaffes, a serious job, and news stories that can rarely be made light of – and Boriswatch does not have the fodder it once had.
So, in essence – it’s dormant. When Boris is less important, I imagine that there’s be more to talk about. Hopefully, I will have made millions and retired by then.
But I thank you for asking, and for checking. Keep checking. You never know…
Simon @ Boriswatch

Boris appeals to Guardian voters to vote Tory

07 May
May 7, 2015

20a62654-cca7-49cb-a643-3969a0d163ad-620x413The persuasiveness of Boris knows no bounds. Boris has been unleashed in the last few weeks at key London districts to swing the vote towards the Tories, and it seems they’ve been lapping it up. “Boris is now a preference to anyone else” that Conservative central office could send to help, including the prime minister, says one insider.

The increasingly windswept Bozza has even appealed to the staunchly liberal Guardian readers to come over the fence and join him.

Boris is now the Tories’ not-so-secret weapon. And when the hung parliament rocks up tomorrow, he will be there to pick up the pieces, no doubt…

Boris’ Jihadi headlines are not the whole story

30 Jan
January 30, 2015

Boris handBoris has hit the headlines again this morning, commenting on the mindset of the Jihadi threats recently. Boris has an eye for a soundbite, and he’s delivered several to get his article talked about. But if people actually read the article – published cleverly in The Sun, a right-wing often-outspoken tabloid – they’ll find that there’s a lot of thougthful analysis that may seen less extreme than the headings make out.

The Sun are also probably cock-a-hoop. The link above hits their paywall, and I’m sure there’s be a boost i signups today…

Have you read the article? Do you find it offensive?

Boris turns Good Samaritan

04 Dec
December 4, 2014

Boris ballBoris was on a plane this week, as we’re sure he is for many of his weeks. But this time, a drunken passenger was disturbing him. Boris sat next to him, tried to appease him, and then had to make a rapid withdrawal when things to took a turn for the awkward.

Here the full skinny on the episode.

Boris. What a guy.

UKIP converts are “nutty”, apparently

01 Oct
October 1, 2014

Never one to shy away from a topic, Boris let out a great literary bellow in his latest Telegraph column:  Any Conservatives thinking about joining rivals UKIP “must be utterly nuts”.

One of the great things about Boris is that he doesn’t talk like a politician. Some people claim this is “on purpose” – of course it is, and it’s a brilliant way to get people engaged in what sometimes are boring topics.

So in an effort to stem the tide of UKIP converts – he doesn’t want to end up leading a party of sizable delapidation, does he – he’s given a big shot across the bow.

We at Boriswatch Towers are looking forward to his speech at the Tory conference this week – we’ve got a mug of hot cocoa and popcorn set aside for the big event.

Boris is coming BACK!

06 Aug
August 6, 2014

borispmIt has long been trailed by Boriswatch, but the great man has confirmed – he will be seeking re-election as an MP in 2015. He’s going to “give it a crack”. We’re going to “throw a party in celebration”.

Now, seasoned Boriswatchers will know that the story doesn’t end there. He will use his virtually guaranteed political seat to launch a bid for leader of the Conservative Party, and then – Prime Minister?! Can we dream?


Boris’s trick shot

12 Apr
April 12, 2013

Good gracious, how did this little gem pass us by. Boris seems to be a dab hand at basketball – check out this video or a great trick shot he pulled off in front of Town Hall!

Mission ImBORISable

16 Nov
November 16, 2012

How did we miss this?! A great short film on Boris’s “impossible” mission to make London better.

The Olympic ending – Boris’s speech sums it up

14 Sep
September 14, 2012

Boris (kinda) welcomes you to the Games

25 Jul
July 25, 2012

Cassetteboy has always been brilliant at hacking together clips of famous figures… and this is no exception. Enjoy Boris’s welcome to the Games!