Mayor’s House Fuelled By A Higher Power

06 Nov
November 6, 2013

Higher PowerMost of us live in a home powered by gas or electricity. Here at Boriswatch Towers we’re on an electric meter which regularly requires trips to the canteen in order to get a stack of fifty pences to keep our lights and our photocopier working. And, of course, our bills are set to go up by a gazillion percent next month, just like everybody elses.

Boris, though? Oh no. As a well known public figure, he has access to other forms of energy. This week the Mayor has admitted that he leaves the heating of his home to ‘Higher Powers’, which is a source of renewable energy that Ed Miliband should probably look into.

Appearing on his monthly LBC radio show, the Mayor admitted that he has a hotline to a Superior Being that keeps his house warm and puts his toast on the table. Tackled on the topic of the cost of his energy bill by host Nick Ferrari Boris said: “I leave such things to higher powers. I’m sure it’s outrageous but I can’t give it to you, I am happy to give it to you later.”

Well. This raises a number of questions. Not only does Boris source his gas and electricity from a different place than us (we at Boriswatch Towers are with one of the Big Six power companies) but he is as cross as we are about rising prices. Perhaps this godlike figure is paying the same green levies that the government charge to everyone else? Or, perhaps Higher Powers pay a more punitive rate of corporation tax?

The Mayor was then asked when he last switched his energy supplier. He admitted again: “I leave all that key strategic decision to higher powers.”

So, it seems that Higher Powers is not only an energy provider but also a price comparison site. Isn’t there a conflict of interest there? Shouldn’t a high ranking public figure know more about their home fuel arrangements?

And, Boris should be careful getting his heat from Higher Powers. As Deuteronomy 28:22 says: “The Lord will smite you with consumption and with fever and with inflammation and with fiery heat.” You don’t get THAT from British Gas…

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