Boris says awesome things...

We at Boriswatch Towers have seen some strange things in our time.  A man running across Richmond Park yelling “FENTON!” at the top of his voice.  Anne Widdecombe on Strictly Come Dancing.  Anything starring Noel Fielding.

And, Boris has had his fair share of video japes over the years.  Falling into a river.  Assaulting an ex-international footballer in a charity event.  Trying to get the better of Jeremy Paxman.

However, this video landed on our desk this week and it’s arguably the oddest of them all.  Yes, it’s Boris on his bike at City Hall being chased by a large chicken.  Apparently, it’s got something to do with Boris’ apparent reluctance to enter into a debate with Mayoral rival Ken Livingstone and him describing his £250,000 annual salary from the Daily Telegraph as ‘chicken feed’.

Anyway: here it is.  *lies down*

With all the hoo-hah about building airports on land raised from the sea and the forthcoming Olympic Games, it’s easy to forget that Boris’ biggest moment in 2012 comes in just 100 days time.

London’s mayoral and Assembly elections are on May 3 with around 5.8 million people eligible to vote.  Once again, Bozza is up against his old nemesis Ken Livingstone, with a recent poll putting Ken two points ahead of Boris in the race to be Mayor.

If you’re interested in following the election and the issues involved, a new website has launched to provide information on the poll.

For the next three months, London Elects will inform Londoners about when and how they can vote as well as providing details of the areas of life affected by the work of London’s mayor and assembly members including planning, policing, transport and housing.

So, if you’re eligible to vote in the elections in 100 days time, you could change the way that your city will be governed over the next four years. A return to the days of Red Ken, or more Boris? You decide…

"Stewardess? Just pour my breakfast straight in, there's a girl..."

It would be fair to say that these are tough times for the UK.  Finding a pound coin down the back of the sofa represents an economic stimulus for millions of households while Government departments are slashing their budgets all over the place.

So, we at Boriswatch HQ were surprised to read this week in the Yorkshire Post that the Government may have a spare £50 billion knocking about to back Boris’ ‘estuary airport’ idea.

The Government are to hold a formal consultation on the future of UK aviation which will consider several proposals including the one put forward by the Mayor to build a four runway airport on reclaimed land in Kent.

Bozza said: “I think that where we are is that the Government is increasingly interested in this idea.

“I genuinely believe that they see not just the overwhelming aviation argument and the argument from international competitiveness in making sure Britain has a hub airport that is viable for the long-term future.”

However, as you might imagine there’s a fair bit of opposition to the scheme from all sides.  Environmentalists, the Labour Party and the unions have all opposed the plan, as does Colin Matthews, chief executive of airports operator BAA (no vested interest there, of course.  Ahem.)  Matthews said an island hub was “very expensive” and “decades away,” adding it would almost certainly cause the closure of Heathrow, with the loss of 100,000 jobs.

Will Boris get his way?  Who knows.  A new airport is a long way off – and there’s the small matter of raising the £50 billion, of course.  Perhaps the Department of Transport could look down the back of it’s office sofa…?

Being Mayor isn’t just about having fun at the Olympics and getting freebie jaunts around the world as London’s representative, you know. Oh no. Much of Bozza’s job (as far as we can tell) appears to be dealing with the transport issues facing the capital.

Boris bikes. Bendy buses. Other transport alliterations. These things take up much of the Mayor’s time, and this week is no exception. The Mayor has announced plans for a brand new road crossing under the Thames for the east of the capital within the next 10 years.

“When I look at London, I see a city of incredible potential and tonight I will make the case for a huge new phase of investment in the capital, including a major new river crossing east of Tower Bridge,” said Mr Johnson in an address to government leaders.

The Daily Telegraph reports that the proposed tunnel will run between the Greenwich peninsula and Silvertown in the Royal Docks. It will have a capacity of 2,400 vehicles an hour in each direction, and will relieve pressure on existing tunnels at Blackwall and Rotherhithe to the west.

Bozza added: “We are in the right time zone, speak the right language and have the young, skilled population to continue to attract investment from the world’s greatest businesses. This is not a time for London to falter it is a time for London to flourish.”

You have to be careful what you say by e-mail these days.  Telling your future daughter in law that she should have better manners might seem like a good idea at the time, but not when it’s gone viral and millions of people have read it.  Similarly, Manchester City needed a new chief executive after a stray e-mail message.

Thankfully, it seems that Boris’ e-mail account contains no such blunders.  Details of the Mayor’s e-mails have been made public under Freedom of Information rules and it seems that Bozza’s office takes all requests pretty seriously.

For example, on 10th September 2010 the Mayor responded to a request for accredited buskers to be allowed to sell CDs and other merchandise in Tube stations, saying that London Underground was “unlikely” to allow the move.  He also responded to a request for additional Boris bike docking stations for district nurses in Islington, reassured a homeowner that Transport for London had stopped a CCTV camera from filming their house and even responded to a request asking for the Mayor’s favourite recipe.

Particularly interesting is the personal feedback that Bozza receives by e-mail, which can be, er, ‘mixed’.

One correspondent e-mailed to say that a visiting German exchange student was “VERY impressed” by a trip to London because “everywhere was clean, no rubbish, there were no drunks on the Tube, there were no homeless people sleeping in the streets or doorways”.

However, in the same same month a critic wrote to the Mayor: “Dear Boris, please resign. You (are) clever and funny and that, but to be honest, it ain’t enough. You are a bad Mayor and should leave quickly… All the best in your new job (so long as it doesn’t involve power or the UK)…”