Boris says awesome things...

It has long been rumoured that Bozza has an eye for the ladies. Now, a new biography of the Mayor has revealed ‘a catalogue of philandering’ by a man who, apparently, has ‘no moral compass’.

The book, Just Boris, is written by his former deputy Sonia Purnell and, according to the Daily Mail (so take it with a pinch of salt, folks), accuses Boris ‘of jumping and out of bed with a succession of ‘posh’, ‘full-breasted’ women.’

The book also alleges that Boris is the father of a love-child with ex-advisor Helen Macintyre, a woman who convinced her partner, Pierre Rolin, to donate £80,000 to what the Mail calls Boris’ ‘Olympian Erection’.

The mind boggles.

Mr Rolin is quoted as saying: ‘How could Boris take £80,000 off a Tory donor after sleeping with his live-in partner of three years and possibly father[ing] her child? He has no moral compass whatsoever!”

Boris and his spokespeople made no comment on the latest allegations. Probably wise.

Opening new shopping centres used to be the reserve of has-been sports stars and Les Battersby off of Coronation Street.

Not so much these days, though, as this week has seen the brand new Westfield Stratford shopping centre opened by the Mayor and two number one chart artists. Keen to leave a lasting legacy of the Olympic Games, London now has a new £1.4 billion shopping centre, which is presumably what Baron de Coubertin had in mind when he envisioned the worldwide sporting event over a century ago.

Joining Bozza at the opening were Pixie Lott and ex-Pussycat Doll singer Nicole Scherzinger although there was drama when a ceiling tile fell 30 feet and almost landed on the Mayor (well, it landed somewhere in his vague vicinity). According to Christian Radnedge, a reporter from Soccer and Olympic News, people were SHOCKED! and CONFUSED! and PETRIFIED! by the drama.

Unbowed, Bozza said: “Westfield’s Stratford City project is setting the pace for the transformation of east London. It is one of the most important legacies of the 2012 Olympics.

“It will create 18,000 jobs and, as a result of Westfield’s investment, have some of the most modern additions to London’s public transport infrastructure.”

Committees used to be boring things.  They involved MPs looking closely at the rules about applying for planning permission in conservation areas or deciding whether to abolish the Cones Hotline (John Major’s one significant legacy to the nation, lest we forget).

Nowadays, though, parliamentary committees are the new Big Brother.  In the last year or so, news channels have gleefully taken on live coverage of the Home Affairs and Culture committees as they grill increasingly important people about Bad Things That Have Been Going On.  (Of course, it’s nothing to do with having to fill increasing numbers of 24 hour rolling news channels.)

This week, Bozza has been the star of the show, answering questions about the recent riots in London.  And, despite the fact that he was in a VW Campervan somewhere in the Rocky Mountains at the time, the Mayor proved to be remarkably calm and knowledgeable about the recent trouble.

The Mayor told the committee that with more than 2,000 people arrested and more than 1,000 convicted in London alone, it was vital that these people were not abandoned by the criminal justice system. His comments echoed those of his colleague Ken Clarke, the Justice Secretary.

The Mayor said: “One thing I do think the justice secretary is right to highlight is the importance, if you arrest such a huge number of people as we have and you put them into the criminal justice system, then you cannot simply abandon them there, you have to make sure they are educated in there.”

Boris revealed that 75% of those arrested had criminal records, while 83% had previous contact with police. He added: “What was going to make you more likely to riot? It was previous contact with the police, and that’s the problem that we need to tackle.”

Of course, if you want an alternative opinion on how you stop rioting in future, you could turn to that most liberal of observers, the Daily Mail‘s Quentin Letts. His ideas: “Stern discipline in classrooms, the withdrawal of benefits and the reintroduction of teaching the Ten Commandments at daily assembly: that’s how you could stop rioting.”

Good lord.

We can all rattle off a list of famous Londoners. Michael Caine, Samuel Pepys, Barbara Windsor, Benjamin Disraeli to name but four.

However, Bozza is in trouble this week for trying to claim that William Shakespeare was also a Londoner. Labour MP John Spellar has taken issue with a leaflet sent to the capital’s residents by Boris to tie in with next year’s Mayoral election.

In the leaflet, Bozza says: “A pretty great Londoner (William Shakespeare) once asked: ‘What is the city but the people?’ before answering: ‘The people are the city’.

“London is the best big city in the world largely because of the people who live in it – you.”

William Shakespeare was, of course, born in Stratford-upon-Avon in 1564 and it is believed he was educated at the local grammar school, now called King Edward VI School, Stratford.

He also lived Stratford later in life, and died there in 1616.

However, the writer did spend much of his career in London – while making regular trips home to see his wife Anne Hathaway and their children. Many of his plays, such as Julius Caesar, Macbeth, Hamlet and King Lear, were performed at the Globe Theatre.

Mr Spellar claimed: “Everyone knows Shakespeare came from the West Midlands and probably spoke with a Black Country accent.

“It’s like all the claims that some secretive aristocrat wrote the plays.

“The elitist snobs on the London scene can’t bear the thought that a writer from the Midlands wrote our greatest literature. They should be ashamed of themselves.”

It’s a tough life being the Mayor of London. For the third year running, Bozza has been forced to undertake a press launch of the London Sky Ride with model turned actress Kelly Brook.

This year’s Sky Ride takes place on Sunday 4 September and allows Londoners the chance to cycle a 7.2 mile route through London without encountering any traffic. This year’s route brings the riders close to the London Eye before heading over Westminster Bridge, past the Palace of Westminster, onto the Mall, through Trafalgar Square, and along the Embankment towards the Tower of London.

Boris said: “London’s fantastic Sky Ride is going from strength to strength, helping people of all ages and experience to enjoy the capital’s most iconic sights on two wheels.

“I urge people to dust off their saddles for this free and family-friendly event to enjoy whizzing through the city on traffic free roads. This is a key part of my cycling revolution which aims to make London a cycle-friendly city, encouraging more and more people that pedal power is the way forward.”

Ms Brook added: “Cycling is a fun way to spend time with friends and keep in shape. This will be my third year supporting the Mayor of London’s Sky Ride and I can’t wait for the 4th September to come around.

“It’s such a fantastic way to get out on your bike and enjoy the sights of the capital in your own time, with friends or family. Plus there is loads of stuff going on throughout the day to enjoy on and off your bike. So what are you waiting for? Come down and join me for a fun-packed family day out!”

Alright, Kelly. Go on, then.