Boris says awesome things...

It was a close run thing with the Big Society and vuvuzela, but, ultimately, the Mayor of London hasn’t won this year’s Oxford English Dictionary ‘word of the year’ contest.

Each year, lexicographers at Oxford University Press choose a word (or short phrase) which best represents ‘the dominant tone and issues of the last 12 months.’ Previous winners of the award include ‘bovvered’, ‘credit crunch’ and ‘footprint’ whilst last year saw a tie between ‘staycation’, ‘tweetup’, ‘simples’ and ‘jegging’.

This year was a fiercely fought contest between three terms. Alongside the ‘Big Society’ – David Cameron’s election pledge – were ‘vuvuzela’ and ‘Boris bike’, the nickname given to the Mayor’s London Cycle Hire scheme.

Sadly, ‘Boris bike’ was ultimately beaten by the Big Society, named as the Word of 2010.

Still, there’s always next year, eh, Bozza? Perhaps the Word of 2011 will be ‘social cleansing’, or even ‘Bozlympics’….

Eh? Oh.

One of Boris’ long time bugbears has been the amount of roadworks on London’s roads.  And, with the launch of a new vote on his website, he’s having another crack at getting legislation passed to make it harder for utility companies to dig up the roads at will.

The Mayor has joined forced with business leaders and London Councils to call on the Government to urgently approve regulations that would mean utility companies could be charged a ‘lane rental’ for digging up London’s busiest roads at the busiest times.

Bozza said: “There we were, discussing this hole, hole in the ground, so big and sort of round it was.”

An unofficial Government source responded to these calls: “Well it’s not there now, the ground’s all flat, and beneath it is the bloke in the bowler hat. And that’s that.”

[Ahem - Boriswatch Ed]

“It is now imperative that the Government pulls out all the stops and tells Londoners when we will finally be able to bring in a system that works in their favour rather than in the advantage of the umpteen utilities that disrupt their journeys with a barrage of cones. I am convinced that the only way to sort out roadworks in London will be to excavate the pockets of the excavators. If the meter starts ticking when the drill starts digging we will soon see these companies devise more prudent methods of working,” said the Mayor.

I ask, what a liberty, eh? Nearly bashed him right in the bowler.

It’s been a long while since we aired our bunting at Boriswatch Towers. So, we were delighted to hear this week of the impending Royal nuptials of Prince William and Kate (‘mother was a trolley dolly’) Middleton.

Described variously as a ‘commoner’ and ‘middle class’, the privately schooled daughter of millionaire parents with her own flat in Chelsea (!) will marry the second in line to the throne in 2011, shortly before moving to North Wales (perhaps a little seafront apartment in Rhyl?)

The biggest controversy that seems to surround this argument regards the lavishness of the wedding itself.  Many people want there to be a huge Charles and Diana-esque wedding ‘in order to cheer the country up’ (hold it on a Friday before a Bank Holiday weekend, and that will certainly cheer us all up).

However, others have called for restraint in these austere and frugal times in which we live.  And, Bozza was amongst this crowd, even appearing like a modern day Del Boy by trying to hire out his venue for a bag of used tenners and a couple of favours from Her Maj.

The Mayor said: “If they want a cut-price deal with a central London venue with a view of London landmarks, the ideal place would be City Hall. I’m not saying the wedding should be cut-price or bargain, but a cost-effective wedding in keeping with our cost-effective times.”

Wise words. We have a courtyard at the back of our office which, we understand, is also licensed for wedding ceremonies and so we’ve written to the Palace suggesting that. Whether they’d fit all their reception guests into our office or cater for them all in our tiny galley kitchen with an old Russell Hobbs and a dicky Breville sandwich toaster, we’re less sure.

You may be wondering what the handsome if bizarre looking tall thing in this photograph is.

(It’s the Mayor of London. Ba-doom-tish!)

No, it’s the new Routemaster bus, scheduled to go into service in London in 2012. This is a red, life-sized mock-up of the new bus which Bozza unveiled last week. As well as looking like a 21st century version of the old bus (which is the idea, I suppose) it also boasts other improvements, including 40% less CO2 emissions. It will employ both a driver and conductor, the Mayor confirmed.

Jo deBank of TravelWatch (I have met her brother Rob, I think) questioned the safety of open rear platforms, a Routemaster feature to be brought back. She also suggested that with London Transport’s financial problems bringing back bus conductors might mean cuts in service.

However, the Mayor defended the new bus. “Standing on the rear platform of this delectable bus brings back a sense of nostalgia but conversely also demonstrates the quintessence of the latest technology and design, making this bus fit for the 21st Century,” Johnson said.

It’s a tough morning here at Boriswatch HQ.  As part of an organisation indirectly linked to the Conservative Mayor of London, our offices have been trashed overnight by a number of rogue elements who joined the peaceful student march through London this week.

At least three of our tea mugs are chipped, and there appears to be a photocopy of someone’s buttocks in our xerox machine.*

Thankfully, Bozza came to our aid and said this of the rioters who also damaged the Tory party HQ on Millbank: “I hope very much that they are caught, that they are prosecuted and that they face the full force of the law.”

The Mayor correctly underlined the student’s right to peaceful protest (“this city has a tradition of allowing people to protest peacefully”) and acknowledged that “there were certainly more protesters than the Police..and the organisers had expected”.  However, the Mayor condemned “a tiny minority [who] abused their right to peaceful protest, engaging in acts of criminality and violence which actually endangered people’s lives.”

(*No damage actually done.  We think it may have been the elderly cleaning lady, not the students.)

It’s been a tough week for Bozza. After his reprimand from the PM over his ‘Kosovo style social cleansing’ comments regarding new housing benefit proposals, the Mayor then took a fair bit of flak as London ground to a halt with another Tube strike.

Mind you, this was small fry compared to the jeering reception that the Mayor’s statement over the threatened 100 Club received when it was read out at the iconic music venue this week.

The 100 Club has been the launch-pad for many bands including the Sex Pistols, The Clash and Oasis. A cash crisis has brought the club to the brink of closure and a campaign to keep it open has been launched, supported by musicians as diverse as Mick Jagger and Paul Weller.

The Rolling Stones frontman said: “What is important is that you have places where bands can cut their teeth and places of a certain intimacy and size, that new bands can experiment in. There aren’t that many great places in London, or indeed any city, that you can say that about.”

However, Bozza seems less keen to help the 100 Club stay open. A statement from the Mayor, read aloud by music critic David Quantick, said: “The mayor understands the importance of the 100 Club. Unfortunately, the Greater London Authority has no statutory powers to intervene in commercial rental costs.”

LondonNet reported that ‘when Johnson’s words were read out last night at a meeting of campaigners trying to save the 100 Club, there were jeers all round and shouts of “w***er!”.’

In a blatantly political points scoring exercise show of support for the venue, BoJo’s rival Ken Livingstone said he would have “drawn up proposals to protect such venues through planning law”.

He’s won a few gongs in his time, has our Boris. And, despite the current furore over his ‘social cleaning’ comments, the Mayor picked up another prestigious award over the weekend.

BoJo beat off a strong shortlist to scoop City AM‘s ‘Personality of the Year’ award for his stout defence and support of London’s financial sector. According to the paper, ‘Boris, whose victory elicited the biggest cheer of the night from the 450-odd guests in attendance at the ultra-modern new Grange Hotel at St Pauls, had installed his new gong in pride of place on his groaning trophy shelf’.

City AM also claimed that the trophy’s importance was ‘proof that the Mayor will remain proud and committed to his self-styled role as the champion of London’s financial services community for as long as he “has breath in [his] bodyâ€?, as he told the audience…’

The award comes as new research found that the recent Tube strikes failed to cause the massive disruption intended by the unions. Transport for London found that 93 per cent of Oyster card users still used public transport during the strike, with extra bus and river services taking up much of the slack.

Bozza said: “Londoners have shown that they will not be deterred from their daily business by these pointless strikes. The action of the union leaderships may cause some inconvenience but we are determined to keep the capital moving by providing a plethora of alternatives so that people can get around.�