Boris says awesome things...

Let’s be fair: Boris hasn’t been too complimentary about Nick Clegg and the Liberal Democrats in the past.

In 2003, Bozza famously retorted that “‘The Lib Dems are not just empty. They are a void within a vacuum, surrounded by a vast inanition.” And, in the 2010 general Election campaign, he described the now Deputy Prime Minister, Nick Clegg, as “cutprice edition of David Cameron hastily knocked off by a Shanghai sweatshop to satisfy unexpected market demand”.

Now, of course, Boris is having to work alongside the Liberal Democrats as part of the Tory/Liberal coalition, and his opinions may have shifted a little….

“The Lib Dems, our brothers and sisters in coalition, have given themselves meaning, shape and contour by becoming part of this beautiful Government that’s entirely fitting for the times because it’s a great hybrid, like a Toyota Prius.”

Oh, hang on. He didn’t stop there.

“I won’t deny that I have found the Lib Dems extremely irritating. There have been moments when I’ve found them infuriating. There have been times when their two-faced Janus nature has got my goat, but there’s no doubt that they’ve done the right thing in getting into a coalition and Nick Clegg is exactly the right choice for his party and for the country. After all, the country voted for something like this. At the moment it’s working unbelievably well.’

If there is one subject guaranteed to get Bozza to loosen his tongue and begin waxing lyrically, it is ‘the bicycle’.

Bozza loves cycling, and his commitment to turning London into a city of cyclists continues apace in the next few weeks with the launch of the Cycle Hire scheme, designed to generate an additional 40,000 extra cycle journeys in the city every day.

Boris told the Mail on Sunday, “Let’s be honest: bicycles are far sexier than cars. We have 6,000 hire bicycles in this scheme. These are beautiful machines we’re talking about, and each one comes complete with a cowcatcher where people can place their babies, briefcases or girlfriends. There’s no more heart-warming sight than an attractive lady cycling through the streets of London on a spring morning.

These are very sexy machines, the Rolls-Royces of power bikes, and we’ll be expecting people to treat them with respect. Plainly, we will treat bike thieves with the utmost severity. I’m looking at a very draconian policy. Bring back the stocks!”

The Mayor continued, “Unlike a car, a bicycle gives you a unique ability to master your fate. When riding a bike you are captain of your very soul. After a car journey you’re wrung out, frustrated, left with a knot of tension in your stomach from battling with the traffic. After a cycle ride you arrive at your destination in the pink of health, serotonin surging through your veins, full of ideas, bouncing with energy, thoroughly radiant in mood.”

Whilst he’ll never admit it, Bozza surely wants to be Prime Minister, doesn’t he?

Indeed, in a long and frank interview with The Mail on Sunday, the Mayor admits he would like to ‘have a tilt’ at running the country in the future, although he doesn’t expect it to be any time soon.

When asked the question, Bozza replied, “Frankly, there’s more chance of me cycling stark naked across the Thames on my bicycle.”

However, when pressed, the Mayor conceded, “Maybe when I’m older. Perhaps when I’m 70, I wouldn’t rule out having a tilt at it. I’d like to think I’ll still be full of beans at that age.”

Many think it will happen sooner than that. There was strong talk of Johnson replacing David Cameron had the PM not performed at the recent General Election, and Bozza has refused to confirm whether he will stand as the Conservative mayoral candidate in 2012, increasing speculation that he might be set for a return to Westminster politics.

Bozza also told the Mail on Sunday, “The experience of being Mayor of London has unquestionably changed me. It’s just such an all-consuming job that I’ve had to alter my ways. But I really don’t think there’s any risk of my becoming homogenised or lobotomised. I take my job seriously, but I wouldn’t want to lose the glint in the eye.”

And so say all of us.

As we have mentioned on Boriswatch before, the Mayor is a particular fan of encouraging kids to learn Latin. Bozza himself studied classics at Oxford, and has been vocal in his opinions over recent months that the teaching of Latin should not be the preserve of independent schools.

Well, it appears that he might be getting somewhere. Five primary schools in Westminster will be offering Latin lessons at lunch-time or after hours under a pilot scheme which could be extended to another 10 schools across the borough. The move is aimed at increasing the numbers of schools that offer Latin as an option, as currently only 4 per cent of state schools have the subject on the curriculum.

Bozza, naturally, is delighted. “We cannot possibly understand our modern world unless we understand the ancient world that made us all,� he said. “There is simply no better way than to make young minds think in a logical and analytical way.�

Councillor Nickie Aiken, Westminster’s cabinet member for children, said: “Latin shouldn’t only be reserved for pupils at independent schools.” Quite right – as Cicero once famously said, “assiduus usus uni rei deditus et ingenium et artem saepe vincit.”*

(* “Constant practice devoted to one subject often outdoes both intelligence and skill.”)

Well, it’s been a summer of Big Things. After the Big Dance came the Big Lunch, which Bozza attended on Sunday, despite continued revelations about his private life.

BoJo was in St George’s Avenue in Tufnell Park, North London, for the Big Lunch, an annual national event which encourages neighbours to sit down together for a meal and get to know one another.

Even though this photo suggests otherwise, Bozza remained in good spirits in the face of the allegations that he is the father of art consultant Helen Macintyre’s eight-month-old daughter.

When asked in a BBC interview about the allegations, Boris carefully sidestepped the issue saying “I don’t want to get into discussion of that.”

The Mayor was then joined by another high profile bubbly blonde, Barbara Windsor, who helped the Mayor judge a cake competition. The former Carry On star was invited to the event by the Mayor after the pair met on the set of Eastenders during Bozza’s cameo appearance last year.

When asked by Babs how his earlier BBC interview had gone, the Mayor replied “It was about one-all….”

Now, we all know how handsome and kissable the Mayor is, don’t we? (Indeed, we revealed only recently that more people want to snog Bozza’s Madame Tussauds waxwork than want to pucker up to either Brad Pitt, George Clooney or Johnny Depp).

Now, though, according to today’s super, soaraway Sun, BoJo has been involved in ‘a love rift’.

Yes. Not just a ‘rift’, but a ‘love rift’.

(Now, before you wonder why you haven’t heard about this scandal elsewhere, I should warn you that it ranks highly amongst the biggest non-stories that we at Boriswatch HQ have seen for a while. In a nutshell, the gist appears to be ‘person that Boris knows splits up with other half’. Still, that won’t get millions of readers to the website, so let’s continue trying to add some juice and gossip to a story where apparently none exists.)

Boris! Love! Rift! Scandal! Romp! (probably)

From The Sun: “LONDON Mayor Boris Johnson refused to comment last night on allegations that he was at the centre of a love rift. His friendship with socialite Helen Macintyre has been blamed for the break-up of her relationship with wealthy property adviser Pierre Rolin. Rolin was said to be furious about the amount of time she spent with the mayor, 46.

“Dad-of-four Boris gave Helen, 36 – who he first met when she was a student – an unpaid job as a fundraiser for London’s Olympic Park. She convinced Pierre to donate £80,000 to studies of the design for an Olympic attraction. Pals say Boris’s presence caused friction. The couple split last year.

“A spokeswoman said: “We never comment on the mayor’s private life.”

(It seems to us that this whole story is based on the single line “Boris’s presence caused friction”. He gave a woman he knew a job, her other half didn’t like it, and they split up. Hardly going to rock the core of our society, is it?)

Still, for the search engines: “Boris In Love Rift (no) Romp (no) Sex (no) Scandal”. There. That should do it.

*waits for millions of hits*

It appears that no-one is going to escape from these Harsh Spending Cuts.

Whilst we at Boriswatch Towers are bracing ourselves for losing our local neighbourhood bobby and having our bins collected once every eight weeks, it seems that not even the great and good are exempt from slashing cuts to their departmental budgets.

The Mayor, for example, has been forced to move himself and his whole team into a brand new office. The Government can’t afford the rent on City Hall any longer, and so the whole Mayoral team have been given this office, complete with attractive matching chairs and desks. Early reports say that Boris has been granted leave to claim for a giant stepladder on expenses, as his is the yellow chair towards the top of the new office.

And, in another cost cutting measure, Joanna Lumley is going to be the Mayor’s assistant. This saves taxpayers cash as she can both campaign on behalf of the Gurkhas and type Boris’ correspondence. Multitasking, you see. It’s why we only really need one Miliband, and not two….

[I think you will find that this is the launch of the London Re-Use Network - an attempt to encourage Londoners to reuse and recycle furniture rather than throw it away - Boriswatch Ed]

Ah.

“We throw away 65,000 tonnes of perfectly useable furniture and white goods,” says James Cleverly AM, chair of the London Waste and Recycling Board. “Typically they go to landfill. They can be made good again. Often small repairs can turn your unwanted item into someone else’s treasured possession. And that’s what we’re doing.

“We’re not only preventing landfill, we’re providing opportunity for young people to use skills in repair – an art that we seem to have lost recently – and we’re putting these things back into useful public use.”

Did you know that Tuesday 6th July was National Kissing Day?  If so, you’re not alone, as the fourteen lovely ladies and two young gentleman that we approached in the street outside Boriswatch HQ with this information also didn’t know.  (If you’re reading, PC Jones of the Met, we haven’t breached the restraining orders).

Anyway, to celebrate this most puckerous of days, Madame Tussauds have revealed who their most (and least) kissed waxworks are.

You’ll not be surprised to know that the Twilight heaththrob Robert ‘R-Pats’ Pattinson is the most kissed waxwork, closely followed by Harry Potter actor Daniel Radcliffe.  Dame Helen Mirren is in third place.

Fourth place?  Is it Beckham, Depp or Clooney?  No – it’s our very own Bozza.  Apparently, the Mayor is deemed more kissable by the general public than the England international footballer or the Pirates of the Caribbean actor.  Kissing is a problem for the Tussauds, staff, it seems.  PR Manager, Liz Edwards, said that “Our studio team are on a constant clean-up mission where some celebrities are concerned…..” (*insert your own gag here*)

The least popular stars to sneak a peck with are, apparently, Fabio Capello, Wayne Rooney and John Terry. Tiger Woods was also a turn-off (a man so randy that I bet even his waxwork would come on to you if you showed any interest) as were ‘comic’ (really? – Boriswatch Ed) James Corden and ‘model’ Katie Price.

Boris was at the million strong London Pride event this weekend and it seems that the Mayor is in tune with 61% of the British population on this issue of same-sex marriage.

BoJo was responding to a placard displayed by prominent gay rights activist Peter Tatchell, which read: “Dave & Sam Cameron can marry, gays can’t. End the ban on gay marriage.�

The Mayor took a look at the placard and said: “Why not?�

Mr Tatchell then asked:“So you are in favour of same-sex marriage?�

“Yes, I don’t see why not,â€? replied Mr Johnson. Pressed further, the Mayor added: “Fair enough, the ban should go.â€?

When the gay rights campaigner reminded Boris that that the Conservative-Liberal Democrat coalition government does not support same-sex marriage, Mr Johnson replied: “Well, they should.�

“If the Conservatives and Liberals can get together in a national coalition and settle their differences, I don’t see why you can’t have gay marriage,â€? the Mayor then told Mr Tatchell.

And he added: “If a gay couple want to get married in a registry office, why shouldn’t they?â€?

Bozza is the first senior Tory politician to endorse the campaign, supported by almost two thirds of the electorate (according to a June 2009 survey). Whether it is something that will now appear on the agenda, or whether Bozza will be hauled in front of the Conservative Party and dressed down, only time will tell….

Bozza has been involved in more than his fair share of embarrassing moments, and the Mayor of London will no doubt have some sympathy for his counterpart in Leicester after a wardrobe malfunction embarrassed the Mayor of the Midlands city.

From the Leicester Mercury: The Lord Mayor of Leicester has offered his ‘deepest apologies’ after his trousers fell down at an educational event for schoolchildren.

In a statement, Councillor Colin Hall, 46, said: “Whilst giving a vote of thanks, I suffered a problem with my trousers. Unfortunately, I had chosen not to wear a belt and the trousers came loose and fell. I would like to offer my deepest apologies to anyone who was offended by the accident.”