Boris says awesome things...

Oh, Lily Allen.
We’ve previously commented on the predilection that the diminutive Mockney rebel has for the Mayor, but it seems that she’s gone and dashed all our hopes.
Yes, we’re afraid to report that Ms Allen will be voting for Gordon Brown at the next election, despite the fact that she was credited with starting a rebellion against Brown’s policies only a year ago. Apparently, Lily feels that she could never become a Tory, so it’s Labour all the way when the ballots open.
Isn’t it terrible when party politics gets in the way of something beautiful?

With the furore about MPs’ expenses raging in the media, it’s somewhat disappointing to see that Boris has followed suit with his former colleagues and attempted to cheat the system for as much as he could get his grubby little mitts on.
What’s that, you say? He hasn’t?

Oh.

Yes, Boris appears to have come through the scandal completely unscathed, gently deriding those who did exploit the expenses system and quipping like a pro along the way. The soundbite of the week has to come from his defence of bike-riding:

Unless you’re completely insane or devious or a Liberal Democrat then there is no way you can fiddle your bike expenses.

I know that many people (including the folks at BorisWatch Towers) were shocked at the level of dodging and diving that appears to be a regular part of MPs’ expense claims — at times, it’s seemed like a parliamentary remake of Minder — and so it’s nice to see at least one high-profile figure who doesn’t have financial skeletons coming out of his closet.
And let’s face it… if there was anything to dig up, it would have been plastered over the front pages by now.

Into WHAT? Even Boriswatch had to look that up. Apparently it’s Phone Blogging – or “online audio postcards”, as the marketing has it – and Boris and his team are showing their cutting edge credentials by getting a phlog started while Bozza is at the C40 Climate Change conference in Korea. Updates will be announced on Twitter and on the City Hall website.

So, here’s his phlog, which will be updated daily: www.ipadio.com/phlogs/borisjohnson/

Update 4pm: Here’s Boris’s first Phlog (enjoy the first “what?” as it dawns on him that he’s on air…!):

So we’ve made it. Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson has been in charge of the nation’s capital for a full year. It’s still standing. Tower Bridge is not on fire, Canary Wharf has not shut down due to an elaborately comical mishap involving trifle.

To all the naysayers, we blow a hearty raspberry, and make rude gestures in your general direction. To those who doubted him twelve months ago… well, we can’t say we blame you. Look at the man. Based on appearances alone, we wouldn’t trust him to run a pub quiz, let alone a city. But the fact remains, Boris has done it, and he’s done us proud.

Sure, there are problems. This is politics. There are always going to be problems. Utopias don’t exist. However, Boris has made massive leaps forward in dealing with the arts, young people, sports, the police force and crime (among others), as well as dealing with scandals that may well have sunk a lesser politician but that have hardly left a dent in him. That’s not to say that everything’s exactly peachy — the bendy buses are still here and the Routemaster is not, which should be addressed as soon as possible — but things seem to be ticking along nicely. We here at BorisWatch Towers are looking forward to the remainder of Boris’s term — and, with any luck, his subsequent re-election when the time comes.

Well done, Mr Johnson, and a happy anniversary to you.